Current mood:	confused
Current music:	Dearest - *Inu Yasha Ending 3*

Happenings
An awful lot has happened since my last post. I finally did what I said I was going to do. I broke up with Kai and told both him and Lei that if they couldn't stop fighting, then I didn't want either of them. Kai reacted just as I expected him to. He didn't seem to care. Just told me that if I didn't want him, then he didn't want him either. I was disappointed because a part of me really wanted him to try and stop me. To tell me that he didn't want to break up because he loved

Now I know I'm being stupid. Kai has never told me that he loved me so why would I think he would suddenly have a change of heart? It's just false hope... it will never happen...

So, onto something better. Bryan's birthday party was a complete success. I've never seen him so happy before! Tala and Bryan had an awful fight that morning, and Tala ended up slapping Bryan across the face. He still has the bruise to prove it. He was really upset about it too, but he never did blame Tala... I'll never get why he didn't. Tala had no right to slap him but Bryan never saw it that way... Anyways, at the party Tala sang for him this really beautiful love song. "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" It was very sweet and he admitted to Bryan that he had been jealous because Bryan had put so much trust into Michael that he had never gotten before. So, they made up and Tala ended up giving Bryan a puppy for his birthday which he called Hades because it was a "tough" name. Bryan's in absolute love with her.

The rest of the party was interesting from what I remember. It turns out that Johnny spiked the punch so we all got a little drunk. I remember being dared to give Gary a lap dance and then he ended up kissing me. It was DISGUSTING! He tasted all spicy and Lei told me later on that he had nachos and salsa just a while before that. Eww! I also remember Johnny and Michael singing sex songs together and then Michael stripping completely naked before they both ran off to, well, you know!

Today hasn't gone quite as smoothly as yesterday, but nothing goes well when you put us all together. There's always some sort of angst going on.

This afternoon Oliver passed out from a heat stroke. It was looking pretty bad too. He had a temperature of 105 degrees and he wasn't sweating... I've never seen Enrique so worried. He ended up dropping a glass pitcher of lemonade, then running over it and getting cuts on the bottom of his feet. I went in later and got all the glass out and he didn't even seem to care. He was so worried about Oliver. It was really a sad thing to see. Robert helped out alot since he seemed to know a little about what to do, after we contacted Dizzi. But, Oliver seems better now and his fever has gone down a couple of degrees so he'll be better in a day or two.

Something else happened though... after Lei and I left Enrique and Oliver's room, we went back to my room so I could fix my hair. We talked alot about how we missed spending time alone with one another and then... I swear it was only a spur type of thing but, I kissed him and... I liked it. There's just something about Lei that I can't help but feel safe with him. I've known him since I was just a child and I trust him 100%. I think that's why when he told me that he loved me tonight, I said I loved him too.

I do love him though, I just don't know how much and it doesn't help that I still love Kai...

Things are just so confusing right now.

Rei >^-.-^